#24

This is the last post I need to do to for my teacher certification! I'm thrilled about this and hope to keep writing here when it seems fit. I have been keeping a yoga journal (not to be confused with Yoga Journal) chronicling my more personal yoga experiences. It has been a journey for me. A hard and wonderful certification that has seen the best and worst of me. I have seen most of the benefits in my personal practice but I am excited to see where teaching takes me.

On Tuesday my husband and I went for a 30 minute run together, and afterwards did some post run yoga. I have been out of the running scene for a bit and wanted to try a favorite video from our marathon training days. It's a very athletic practice focused on stretching the muscles when they are most supple. It felt so good to return to this place after over a year! I was minding my own business, when she moved us into downward facing dog. From all fours, I lifted my chin and sit bones, just like I have done myself and verbalized to students hundreds of times before, and scrolled back into downward facing. I can't figure out a way how to describe what happened without making it sound like I injured myself. It was exactly the opposite though: I slipping right into downward facing with my heels touching the ground.

Now there's some thing you should know about me: I have the tightest hamstrings in the world. I enjoy a lot of natural flexibility but when it comes to the hammies, I'm stiff as a board. Suddenly I had my heels down on the ground like it was the most normal thing in the world. Had my husband not been there to appreciate and confirm this moment to me I don't know if I would believe it happened. I wasn't 'working on' this. I hadn't even thought about it in months. Quite the opposite, actually; in some ways I was probably being too easy on myself and just bending my knees in downward-facing, not attempting at all to improve my flexibility. The warmness of my legs from running and the instruction from someone outside of myself, combined with the last two years of yoga practice all came together for quite possibly the most wonderful and most strange moment of my yoga life.

It's all about improvement. It's not about wishing for a body that can do a pose I saw on Instagram. It's not straining for something outside my ability. It's an appreciation for what I have learned and what I can learn, slowly and steadily working with what I have right now, on a journey to a wonderful place called 'What if?' Except it's more like a Bilbo Baggins type of an adventure rather than a 200 mph cross-country bullet train. Just because I can't do a pose now, doesn't mean I won't ever be able to; and on the other side of that, a pose that seems simple now could become out of reach at a future time. Practice here in the body you have right now. It is such a gift.

Thailand 2012

I didn't mean to buy 4 1/2 pounds of mangosteen. But I'm sure glad I did because we haven't had it since! Eat the mangosteen while you can. You never know when you'll be able to buy it again!

www.gobodhiyoga.com

Blank Slate

I am all about distraction-free yoga. I've written about a home practice before but I wanted to jot down some thoughts about how to be as free from distractions as possible anytime, anywhere practicing yoga.

• Dress in layers. Maybe I'm just cold all the time but I find so much comfy comfort in wearing a soft long sleeve shirt, long yoga pants and SOCKS. This isn't practical for a dynamic flow, but it sure feels nice during a restorative practice.
• I have really long hair. It can be hard to manage during a practice that involves inversions and laying on one's back. Long hair can get hot, hit you in the face during triangle, and it hasn't happened to me yet but I feel like I may someday step on it if I'm not careful! It may seem superficial, but managing my long hair means distractions are at a minimum. Here are my current favorite ways to do that:
• Long braid down the back. More contained than a regular ponytail and savasana-approved. Hairstyles should definitely be savasana approved.
• Headbands. Even if you don't have bangs, this is a way to keep hair from making an appearance into the face during yoga. I'm a big fan. Large or small, it's up to you.
• Bun over bun over bun. Also a favorite hairstyle for running marathons, this is the ultimate 'I don't want to think about my hair'-do. If you do it high enough, can definitely be savasana-approved! For added power, combine with headband.
• It's traditional to do yoga on an empty stomach. I tend to feel nauseous and languid when I haven't eaten in awhile. Not that I want to practice right after a full meal, but a little snack half an hour before can be helpful. I don't like trying to draw from an empty well.
• Speaking of empty wells, I have to have a water bottle nearby! Deep breathing can dry my the nose and throat and leave me feeling thirsty. It's better to prepare and not use it than not have water and wish you did.
• Keep it simple. Yoga is a very commercialized activity right now, but there is simply no need to buy into it. Towels, gloves, psychedelic pants, bright colored bras, special headbands, etc.. you could go bankrupt trying to keep up with the 'Yoga' that is being sold. If those things speak to you, great, but I find the more I look into that stuff the less I am probably doing yoga. A minimalistic approach is not a bad one to have.

www.gobodhiyoga.com

My affirmations

I have found affirmations to be a very powerful tool. They help me harness my own thoughts and use them in a powerful way to motivate and encourage myself. Don't we all need a little more of that from our own minds? Negative self-talk is very damaging and I find myself falling into that sometimes. Affirmations speak to our very subconscious in a way that can re-route those thoughts and help us think of and view ourselves more accurately: as beings of light with unlimited potential! Here is a list I have started and will continue adding to. Feel free to use these and adjust them to your own practice!

I am strong.

I am brilliant.

I am valuable.

People rely on me.

I am flexible. 

I have time to do and study yoga.

I am confident.

I can do anything I set my mind to do.

Yoga makes my body and mind happy.

I love to share wisdom with others.

A sound body, mind, and spirit are essential.

My voice is strong.

I listen to my body.

I bless myself and others.

I take opportunities.

I can do it.

www.gobodhiyoga.com

eddy

It has been awhile. Life is busy. Most days I don't feel like a yoga teacher. Most days I feel like a mom. Wife. Employee. Tired person. I don't have a lot of mind power to spend on extra things. I would love to do more. Have more money. Spend more time doing things I like. Do you know how long it has been since I got out my sewing machine? Or even put on my running shoes? I finished a book in December and that was a big deal. Life is composed of so many little things. Putting on clothes in the morning. Brushing teeth. Washing hair. And if you are a mom, changing diapers, thinking about nap time, laundry every week. They are like clockwork. Sometimes there isn't anything leftover. Right now I'm at a point in my life where I can hardly afford 'extras' so I think it has been hard for me to think that other people may see yoga as an extra that they don't have time for. I barely do. If you are choosing between yoga and a shower, please, I encourage you to take that shower. I am spent most days and you probably are, too. I don't want to feel like I'm selling anything. How is my yoga better than anyone else's? What is the point? Am I worth it? I know yoga is beneficial but I know your life is complicated. Mine is too. I feel defeated as a teacher. I'm so close to finishing my hours but I feel more clueless than I did when I started. Where do I go from here?

www.gobodhiyoga.com

Stamp of approval: postpartum

Can you tell I am learning so much?

My baby was born via c-section at almost 39 weeks, and we were overjoyed to get him here safely. During the next six weeks I went through the biggest, most challenging and exhausting adjustment of life. I became a new parent.

I had heard the postpartum emotions can be rough, but that sentence doesn't really do justice to the crazed hormonal mess I dealt with every day. 

I had heard how tiring it is. Think of fatigue following the worst all-nighter you've ever pulled, and now multiply that by ten thousand, compounded with the fear that you will never get to sleep a full night again.

One thing I didn't expect was how exhausting it is physically to be a new mom. I had just undergone major abdominal surgery, yes, but the sore wrists and back from nursing, constantly rocking a colicky baby, and the poor posture from a disappearing belly contributed to my fatigue.

At about six weeks postpartum, I finally made it back to my mat. I should start by saying I actually returned to my running shoes first! That first run, I got spanked. I was hot, out of breath, awkward and feeble-legged. Had my posture changed? Had I really run a marathon just one year prior?? I felt mocked, as if the pavement was saying, "Is that all you've got?" and I finished thinking mostly of what I had lost and how hard I would have to work to get it back. 

My first time back onto the mat, I was welcomed with open arms. I nearly heard the words of comfort, "You are doing great. Let's work with what you have." And as I explained above, I didn't have much to offer. What I did have was aches and fears, but they were smoothed out as I slowly met pose after pose that I could finally do without a baby bump. I could do something about my sore wrists and back that would help me with my day-to-day well-being. I could move slowly and deliberately and build my strength back up with proper alignment. I still have a lot of work to do, but the forgiving nature of yoga on my post-baby body and mind was very meaningful to me and I hope to share that with students in the future! Moms on this journey deserve to be honored.

 www.gobodhiyoga.com

Stamp of approval: Growing a human

Looking back on my whole prenatal experience, it is very clear that yoga played a significant role in helping me feel my best. Almost everything about my body was changing at one point or another, but yoga helped me feel most like ME. A breath of fresh air in a time when you inherently feel the least like yourself.

In my experience, first trimester yoga was timid. I was so sick at first, it was nearly impossible to drag myself onto my mat at home, let alone to an actual yoga class!

When I did start back into yoga, I had a purely restorative practice. I had been so beaten down in body and spirit by 24/7 nausea that I really needed to be gentle. I had two couch cushions and a blanket as my props. My practice was pretty much an extension of sleeping, only better. It was wonderful.

By about 20 weeks, or halfway through my pregnancy, some switch was activated in me and I got my energy back. I needed a far more dynamic practice that would engage my muscles. I could feel my sweet boy inside of me and I knew I was breathing and moving for us both. I felt like a strong warrior mother who was no longer trodden down by the need to puke all the time. I carefully adjusted poses to accommodate my growing belly and changing body. Suddenly poses like uttkatasana and squat had more meaning and life than ever before. I felt my body and mind rejuvenated. I have such fond feelings when I think of this time. I felt so comfortable in my changing body just how it was right then.

Things got very busy for about the last eight weeks of my pregnancy when summer began, but I used yoga principles in ways I never thought I would. I painted my own toenails at 37 weeks and credit yoga with the flexibility to do that. I chose to use hypnobirthing during labor, which incorporates many poses, deep breathing, ujjayi, acupressure points, and affirmations, and I had a very positive experience with those.

Throughout this whole experience, I would look at my husband in amazement at how much he had NOT changed. That's all I had been doing for the last 9 months--watch myself pretty much evolve into something new. Isn't that shiva at her finest? I am so grateful to be a mother and to use my creative powers to bless my family members. Here's to this new time:)

www.gobodhiyoga.com

Stamp of Approval: Sciatic Pain Management

For the past four years I have enjoyed training for and running in races. It has brought me a lot of joy and I love the way a race motivates me to get out the door for a run. I'm not fast but I am always looking to improve my personal record, plus I love how running makes me look and feel. It's a good situation all around.

I always expected to continue running throughout my pregnancies, so aside from being exhausted and a little off balanced, I finally got out to try running again in January when my morning sickness began to subside. I ran for about a month and noticed something was wrong. I don't know if it was my form, my over-enthusiasm for starting again, or something my pregnancy hormones messed up, but I began having a pain in my lower back on one side that slowly crept into the joint where my left leg and hip meet. I tried to run through it; "I just finished a marathon last August!" I thought. One run on vacation in Arizona was quite painful and after trying to stretch it out, I found myself barely able to walk for the rest of the week. It was the most disheartening thing and when I started trying to find the source of this excruciating sensation, time and time again I was met with a phrase.

Sciatic nerve pain.

Why I am the lucky recipient of this intense, stinging nerve pain, I have no idea but I figuratively (and almost literally) felt like one of my legs had been chopped off! What was I going to do if I couldn't RUN. It was unthinkable. Thankfully I had yoga to get me through it. Here are some of the best ways I've found to manage sciatica during pregnancy:

• First and foremost, don't overdo it. This was my first and biggest mistake. Me trying to "stretch it out" as the pain was progressing made things a million times worse. I can decisively say it was running that aggravated my sciatica, so I stopped running and didn't go on any walks for awhile and this helped significantly. The goal here is to heal and strengthen.
• Gently work with these poses. Go slowly and pay attention to how it changes your sciatic pain. You should feel a difference, and at least for me I could tell it was improving the sensation instead of aggravating it. Stop if anything feels too intense. If you are past 20 weeks take care lying on your back so that you don't interfere with your body's or baby's circulation. (I found this site very helpful in getting me started).
• Cat and cow pose
• Hip circles, seated or kneeling
• Bridge pose, rolling up vertebrae and back down again slowly
• Lying on your back, hug your knees and extend them up to a 90 degree angle; make gentle circles with your knees
• Twist lying on your back. With the extended leg, lift and lower slowly about an inch.
• Supported pigeon, performed either on your back or seated over a round bolster.
• Be patient with yourself. I was so distraught over this new pain that it wasn't until I started my slow yoga sequence trying to heal that I was able to get back to giving myself credit for what I was still able to do. Within a month I was able to go on mile long walks without having it flare up, and now here we are in May and I don't have a single tinge of pain day-to-day. What a huge blessing.

I'm not back into running and I doubt I will be until after baby comes. I tried a few months ago and even though I hadn't thought about my sciatic pain much since it improved, wouldn't you know it started up again! I have learned to appreciate walking as a worthy alternative, and although it was a humbling experience to discover this I can honestly say I am grateful to be able to walk and feel those benefits in this stage of life! It has been a great opportunity for me to explore the healing benefits of yoga: this was the first time I came to yoga with a problem and had it solved perfectly. I'm not sure what similar experiences lay ahead in my life but I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn and share that wisdom with others to help improve their situation, too. I chose the photo for this post based on the word opportunity; in China and Thailand I watched people use bamboo in construction as a shovels, scaffolding, foundations, roofs, etc. because of its sturdy build. Most plants would not be able to act in these functions, but all it takes is some creativity to see how it can be used. There are many opportunities for it to become useful.

www.gobodhiyoga.com