My baby was born via c-section at almost 39 weeks, and we were overjoyed to get him here safely. During the next six weeks I went through the biggest, most challenging and exhausting adjustment of life. I became a new parent.
I had heard the postpartum emotions can be rough, but that sentence doesn't really do justice to the crazed hormonal mess I dealt with every day.
I had heard how tiring it is. Think of fatigue following the worst all-nighter you've ever pulled, and now multiply that by ten thousand, compounded with the fear that you will never get to sleep a full night again.
One thing I didn't expect was how exhausting it is physically to be a new mom. I had just undergone major abdominal surgery, yes, but the sore wrists and back from nursing, constantly rocking a colicky baby, and the poor posture from a disappearing belly contributed to my fatigue.
At about six weeks postpartum, I finally made it back to my mat. I should start by saying I actually returned to my running shoes first! That first run, I got spanked. I was hot, out of breath, awkward and feeble-legged. Had my posture changed? Had I really run a marathon just one year prior?? I felt mocked, as if the pavement was saying, "Is that all you've got?" and I finished thinking mostly of what I had lost and how hard I would have to work to get it back.
My first time back onto the mat, I was welcomed with open arms. I nearly heard the words of comfort, "You are doing great. Let's work with what you have." And as I explained above, I didn't have much to offer. What I did have was aches and fears, but they were smoothed out as I slowly met pose after pose that I could finally do without a baby bump. I could do something about my sore wrists and back that would help me with my day-to-day well-being. I could move slowly and deliberately and build my strength back up with proper alignment. I still have a lot of work to do, but the forgiving nature of yoga on my post-baby body and mind was very meaningful to me and I hope to share that with students in the future! Moms on this journey deserve to be honored.
